5 Reasons To Consider Homeschooling

Little Bear Photo NanaimoOkay wait, hear me out before deciding I’ve lost it completely.  We have not yet decided where or how our children will be educated. We have an almost three year old and a 6 month old. I am simply considering homeschooling and wondering if it will be the best option for us. There is no one box fits all and I am sure that both approaches to education can and do produce happy, educated children. For the purpose of this blog, ‘Homeschool’ refers to both ‘Homeschool’ and ‘Distributed Learning’ educational approaches in British Columbia. *See end of page for explanations.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences. Do you homeschool your kids already? Are your kids in the public system and loving it?


1) School does not prepare children for the real world

If we do choose the traditional school approach, it will not be for the purpose of preparing them for the ‘real’ world. Let’s face it, School is nothing like the real world or at least the mostly civilized society we fortunate people live in. School is a war zone. It is an inadequately supervised, overcrowded cluster of societies best and worst at the most vulnerable and emotionally immature time in a person’s life. That’s what it was in my day and from everything I’ve heard, it is what it is today. In your entire adult working life have you ever said to yourself “Wow this is exactly how it was in school”? So why do it then? I know for me, I’m honestly afraid of the responsibility of educating my children. A huge part of me would rather delegate that role to someone else but I don’t think that fear is a very good reason to do anything.


2) Homeschooling is not what you think. 

It does not mean locking your child up 7 days a week in order to produce a pale, socially awkward, strange adolescent. From what I have read and heard, it is a very social and community driven means of education and one that can be tailored to the specific talents and aptitudes of each unique child. It also doesn’t mean that you must spend every waking hour with your kids either (thank God, right?!). There are numerous programs and classes available specifically for homeschooled children. Read more here:

This Nanaimo DL school sounds fantastic!!

Nanaimo Museum programs

Parks and Recreation Programs

Vancouver Island Libraries


3)  Homeschooling will reduce your childs exposure to negative influences and experiences

I’m talking about bullying, drugs, sex, bad teachers! I am not saying that I’d like to eliminate negative experiences. Encounters with unhealthy peers and adults is a normal part of life. I think the majority of us would agree that peer influence is at an all time high. Bullying is so much more harmful than it ever was and I should know. I am a Counsellor here in Nanaimo and I’ve worked with youth from most of the high schools. We as adults do not have a complete handle on what, how and who is influencing our children.  Through home schooling, parents stand a better chance at guiding the type and quality of their kids social environments, both on and offline.


4) Traditional School crushes creativity

Human intelligence is extraordinarily diverse and until our education system transforms to recognize this, children will continue to suffer and potentially never even know their own brilliance. I don’t need to say anymore on this point as Ken Robinson’s Ted Talk says it all.

“Many highly talented, brilliant, creative people think they’re not – because the thing they were good at at school wasn’t valued, or was actually stigmatized.”



5) You won’t be alone

This blog is an education for me too. I’m including numerous useful links to online resources I’ve found. From what I am reading, it looks like BC is the place to be for any family looking for alternatives to the traditional school system.




* Homeschooling definition BC – https://www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/education-training/ways-to-learn/homeschooling

*Distributed Learning definition BC – https://www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/education-training/ways-to-learn/online-and-self-paced-learning

Photo Credit – Little Bear Photo

Big News For Nanaimo Counselling!

It is with great pleasure and excitement that I announce the addition of a new member to Limitless Wellness. After many years in solo counselling practice, it is time to let Limitless Wellness grow and meet the increasing demand for great Counselling Services in Nanaimo, BC.

There many Counsellors in practice but finding one that you can connect and feel safe with is far more difficult. With raising two little girls, I simply can’t see everyone who is reaching out to me. Rather than turning these individuals away, not knowing if they would get the help they are seeking, I decided to find another Therapist whose passion, curiosity and desire to help, lined up with my own.

So began the thorough search for another Therapist in practice in and around Nanaimo. I found Esther’s website and the authenticity emanating from her words made her stand a part from all the others. Sometimes the Universe seems to act in funny ways and within 12 hours of discovering Esther online, she literally walked right in front of me in downtown Nanaimo. Perhaps it was kismet or at the very least a sign I needed to trust my initial instincts and reach out to her. Later that day, my email to Esther explained how I had seen her and I was the lady nursing the baby in the store she had visited. I figured that by being completely honest she would either think my email a bit strange and ignore it or she would be intrigued and respond. Either way I’d know a lot more about her and whether or not we would get on well.

Long story short, Esther has a presence and calmness that glows around her and I am delighted to add her to the team. She has an honest and tangible passion for helping and is committed to aiding her clients on their journey of healing. I trust that clients are going to be safe in her hands and I look forward to working with her and seeing the amazing work she will do. You can read more about Esther here.

Esther and I now offer appointments 7 days a week for individual, youth and couples/marriage Counselling, both in Nanaimo and Online.

Welcome Esther!

Just A thought…Youth Suicide

A difficult topic and one deserving of our attention. Perhaps one way to connect with the young people in our lives is to share our own story with them. Let’s not wait for the conversation, let’s start it. By sharing this message, we can use the power of social media in a positive way and possibly save people a lot of pain.

Just A Thought…3 Sentences To Stop Saying To Children

A simple thought, that if implemented could have an enormous impact on the confidence and wellbeing of our children. The Holidays are upon us and that means lots of socializing. Here’s an idea to keep in mind as we help our children feel comfortable around lots of people and new environments.

Credit: Music and Video edit by Cory at Little Bear Photography

Nanaimo Teens Are “Doing A Thing” & Emotional Intimacy Is Suffering

Nanaimo, Vancouver Island, teens, youth, sex, relationships, counselling, communication,Teenagers starting to date has always been a scary prospect for parents. Your teen’s safety, getting too serious, or having their heart broken are just some of the concerns we as parents must manage. Many of us probably wish our teens would not date until they are 18, but besides locking them in their rooms, there is not much we can do to stop them. So what’s it like for today’s teens, right here in Nanaimo?

I work with youth and teens here in Nanaimo and my goal is to both help our young people on their path, while also working to strengthen family relationships as a whole. The latter is the purpose of this piece. My hope is that in reading this, you as parents feel more informed and encouraged to open up non-judgemental dialogue around the subject of relationships and intimacy.

“Doing a thing” is the new way teens are experiencing being sexually intimate. This is the term used when two teens are engaging sexually but without commitment, or exclusivity. One could be “doing a thing” with any number of others.
Now of course this is not the case for all teens. Some teens are not sexually active and there are still some who do date. This is also not something that is just limited Nanaimo. I am however speaking to what is now common place amongst today’s youth.
Teenagers experimenting and playing the field is nothing new but I do not believe it has ever been the norm or standard. Dating the person you are being intimate with is no longer the expectation. The rules have changed. More and more adolescent boys believe they do not need emotional intimacy and more and more adolescent girls are choosing to be intimate in its absence.

This is a very complex topic and there is no one answer as to why this is now the way amongst our youth. It is likely a combination of many factors, influences and failings within today’s society, culture, and family life pressures. One of these factors is certainly the tragic loss of human connection and this I am certain is playing a major role in the choices our young people are making.

This is not an argument for monogamy, nor am I stating it is either gender’s fault, or even that of the parents. Pointing the finger does not further our understanding. I do think most of us would agree, intimacy with another person is not something we wish our teens to take lightly and it appears that has become the case. It is a mistake to think that emotions are not involved in sexually intimate relationships. So what has happened to them? Are these feelings being ignored and pushed down? Are our teens telling themselves to disregard their emotions because this is how their peers are behaving? My fear is that in believing it is better to be intimate without emotional connection or that they do not need it, today’s youth will become unfulfilled adults, not knowing the full spectrum of human experience, or depths of intimacy and connection.

Our teens are the years in which we feel the most intensely, we leap head first without hesitation, we experience all the wonderful and nerve wracking emotions that come with the new relationships, flirtations and crushes of this maturing age. It is a necessary part of growing up or at least it has been until now. We wondered “does he like me”, “will she say yes”, “why hasn’t he called yet”. It is a time of getting to know who we are, what we desire from our relationships and how to care for those we are in relationships with. As much as we all felt heartache or rejection during these years I doubt we would take it back. If it really is the case that teens are not experiencing the emotional vulnerability of connected intimacy then how will these adults turn out?

I don’t have the answers, as I have yet to meet one of these adults. My wish is to simply open up the conversation and ask, what do you wish your teen to know about relationships and sex? When communication has become so detached in today’s world, how are you managing to connect with your teen in the home and discuss their own emotions and feelings? I would love to hear your thoughts, your experiences or comments. Is your teen dating? Do they feel safe to share with you and do you feel comfortable talking with them?

My Own Struggle

IMG_9330The Irish Times Newspaper just published a piece I wrote about my own emotional struggles in Canada, as an Irish Emigrant. I am sharing the piece below and a link to the original piece. I think it’s important to remember that not all emotions and struggles can be resolved and put to bed. Sometimes there is no solution and all we can do is share with others and accept the present moment.

My heart is torn between Ireland and Canada

I never chose to stay in Canada, though I have not chosen to leave either. This is the conundrum my heart struggles with in the background, every day.

Six years have passed since I landed in Vancouver, with two suitcases, packed by my genius compactor of a father, and a one way ticket. “I’ll come home in a couple of weeks if I don’t like it,” are the words that made me capable of putting one foot in front of the other and boarding that plane.

Looking back, I really don’t know how I did it. I think I just had nothing to lose. A perfect storm had gathered of youth, the end of a long and turbulent relationship, and the darkness of the recession.

Now I am married two years, and have a beautiful 7-month-old baby girl. I am happy and I have a pretty wonderful life. But what of my mother, my family? What of my home, where the streets of Dublin feel like mine, and trees in Rathfarnham are scarred with my initials?

My heart is scarred with the loss of my home, while it simultaneously fills with love for my daughter, my family and our life in Canada. Will I always feel this way? Has Ireland forgotten me, and am I grieving for an unrequited love?

The Generation Emigration Facebook page reminds me all too often that I am not alone in my loss. The headlines in my feed stir up feelings that find little resolve. I rarely click on the articles, not wanting to invite in these complex feelings to an otherwise happy day. I am now a counsellor. I help people to work through their emotions and even still, I don’t know what to do with this specific yet elusive ache in my soul.

What I miss is hard to define. I think perhaps I am mourning the future I may not have. As my mother ages, will I not be there? As my daughter grows, will she only know Ireland as the place her mother laments about, after a few too many glasses of wine? My eyes sting as I think of this. Is this reason enough to uproot my life here and return to a country that may have no place for my husband or me?

Life is better in Canada. At least it is better than the Ireland I knew six years ago. I am also better. The me I was back then is unlikely to have much in common with the me now. I left as I turned 24. I had recently ended a five and a 1/2-year relationship, moved home and lost my job in the recession. After moving to Canada, it felt I was really living for the first time.

I also struggled, was depressed, and came very close to packing it all in. In fact, the day I met my husband-to-be, I had called in sick to work and from under my duvet, I had cried on the phone to my mother. She had encouraged me to stick with it. From her own experience living in Canada, she said it would take two years to really settle in.

While everyone at home warned me not to return, my life pushed on and roots were put down. I went back to school, changed careers, married and had a baby. I am now the person I believe I was meant to become. My life has been an adventurous one and my experiences were necessary to get me to the place I am today. For this reason, I cannot regret that moment I purchased a one-way ticket, as my mother and sister watched TV in the living room.

If I do decide to leave again, this time I will have something to lose. It would mean uprooting my life, as well as those of my daughter and husband. I find solace in reminding myself that the future cannot be known. In my early 20s I thought I had it all figured out and my future was very clear. I was very wrong, and thankfully so.

For now I must remind myself to live in the present. My dreams of home do not consume me, and should they ever, I know I have a partner who loves me and would never shut down the idea of beginning a whole new adventure.

See the original here!

Limitless Wellness Open in Nanaimo, BC

12651355_10153617639838884_5975947156127529377_nAfter a brief and wonderful break, Limitless Wellness is back. The office is now located in beautiful Nanaimo, BC. We moved here in May of last year and no more than a week later we welcomed our lovely baby girl into the world.

The new office is still a home office and I am so grateful to be able to work this way. I very much believe in avoiding the non-personal and clinical feel so common in therapy, rather I strive to create a warm and welcoming environment. Here is a picture of the new office. I am still looking for the right piece of art/decor to finish it off. Got any ideas?

marriage counsellor nanaimo

Just as I started back to work, I received the most touching email from a former client. The message came at the best time and served as the perfect reminder, that the work my clients and I do, is so important. With my clients permission, here is a excerpt from his message to me;

“You truly are an excellent counselor. You helped me through what was the most difficult thing in my life to address. You made me feel very comfortable in our meetings, and that in turn made it possible to talk about the things that had haunted me the past almost decade….I am very grateful that I had the opportunity to meet you, and work through my issues with you. I really have no other words to describe how thankful I am, other than to say you have made an unbelievable difference in my life and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Those on the island are extremely lucky to have you in their corner, and I wish all the best in life.”

As our little one is just 9 months old, I am working part time and accepting a limited number of clients. My current focus is on working with youth and couples. I am just so excited to work with those here in Nanaimo and the surrounding area.

Here’s to living a thoughtful and compassionate life and supporting the community here on Vancouver Island.

4 Reasons Why Those Who Seek Counselling Are Not The “Crazy” Ones

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The stigma around mental health and needing help, is gradually being chipped away at. But the completely misguided notion that those who seek help in their lives are somehow, “weaker”, “crazier”, “less stable”, “less capable”, than the rest of us, still exists.

The truth however is quite the opposite. The individuals I meet in my office, are far more aware, emotionally intelligent, genuine and open than most of the people I encounter in my life.


And here’s why:

  1. Through just the simple yet courageous act of seeking Counselling, that individual is accepting they are not happy and they desire to change. That is not the act of a crazy person. It is far more crazy to spend your life in miserable way.
  2. By coming to Counselling, the individual is already aware they and they alone have the power to change. They may not know how or even believe it at the beginning, but they are turning their focus inwards and trying to trust themselves. This is not the action of a weak person. A much weaker person likely turns their focus outwards, blaming the world and everyone in it for how they feel. Projecting their own issues on to innocent bystanders in a desperate attempt to escape themselves.
  3. During Counselling, the individual learns to become more open and curious with themselves. They begin to navigate and process their own emotions and experiences and expose their true selves in the presence of someone else. This is not the skill of an unstable person. I would argue that instability arises when people do not know how to express their thoughts and feelings and instead either push their feelings down or become completely overcome by them.
  4. Those who seek help know that no man or woman is expected to go it alone. They know that human beings can achieve so much more when we work together and support each other. This is not the knowledge of an incapable person. Incapable people are not those who lack a skill of some kind, they are those who are not willing to acknowledge where they need help and reach out to the resources available to them.


I’ve always loved the proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child” but I wonder what comes after that. If we are to go by today’s society, it would probably go something like this, “Tt takes a village to raise a child, but after that you are on your own”.

No one is crazy or we are all a little crazy. Either way, seeking Counselling or support is nothing to be ashamed of, it is something to be proud of.

My invitation today is to consider this as the new proverb; “It takes a village to raise a child and a village to help the adult”.

Indo-Canadians on the Edge of Change

Screen Shot 2014-03-07 at 2.13.35 PMSurrey is so culturally diverse and as a result I have the joy of working with people of all ethnicities, cultural backgrounds and religious beliefs.

One of the groups I have the privilege of working with is the East Indian community and more specifically young Indian adults in their 20’s and 30’s, all born here, to parents who immigrated to Canada. They are as it were first generation Indo-Canadians.


I feel compelled to write about the unique difficulties I am observing in the lives of these young adults. Of course I can only speak of what I have observed and it must be noted that I have only worked with a very small number, comparative to the great number of Indians living in Surrey BC. Within this small group however the stories are strikingly similar and it is this that I wish to talk about in today’s blog.


From both men and woman their family stories can be summarised as follows. Their parents had arranged marriages, mostly occurring in India before moving and some happening here shortly after arrival. The fathers have been described as emotionally withdrawn, the bread winners and the authority in the home. The mothers have been described as submissive and obedient, remaining in the home to raise the children and take care of household duties.  Most of the fathers described were alcoholics and both physically and emotionally abusive, the majority of the physical abuse being inflicted on the mother. Most of the mothers described were depressed and many attempted to take their own lives.


From what I have ascertained, these parents arrived here with very little, leaving behind their families and culture. They likely arrived with little English and little education. Given the time, there was no Skype or email and travelling home to visit family was not possible for most. I emigrated to Canada just over 4 years ago and even with all the technology available to keep in touch, it was still a very difficult adjustment. I can only imagine the hardship, loneliness and isolation these Indian couples must have experienced. Adding to the difficulties of emigrating they were also newly weds, setting out on their journey in life with a partner they did not choose.


Given these circumstances, it is not hard to see why they might place very high importance on maintaining their culture, traditions and religious beliefs. Their way of life reminded them of home, and perhaps in an effort to remember where they came from, I can see how they may have become even more committed to it. It is also not difficult to understand how their emotional well being was under threat. A new world, new language, no family, a partner you do not really know all combined with the pressure to make a living and survive. Being Irish, I am very familiar with my country’s stories of emigration and the toll it took both on those who left and those who were left behind.


Alcoholism, depression and emigration are not new challenges to the health of the family and are not unique to Indians in Canada. What is unique to Indo-Canadians is the combination of morals, values, traditions and beliefs imposed upon them having grown up in a world far different from that of their parents. From what I have learned, social status within the community ranks highly. Male babies are favoured. I have heard of fathers abandoning newborn baby girls in parks, forcing their wives to abort girls, and dressing their young daughters as boys. What young girls wear is strictly controlled. Young men are taught that making money to support a family is their goal. Woman are expected to marry young and give up their careers, and the family is highly involved in their choice of husband. Sex and cohabiting before marriage is forbidden. Once married, women must leave their family home to live with their husband and his parents.


These children, now young adults are standing on the shore line looking out on the horizon. They can see another way but to explore could mean leaving behind their home, their family and life as they know it. I am seeing immense internal conflicts in the hearts of these young people all of whom have never shared their stories with anyone but myself. It is no exaggeration to admit they appear terrified at even the thought of choosing something different. They are sad, alone, emotionally traumatized and trapped. All of this is true but for one detail – they are not alone.


This new generation of Indians is on the edge of change. I am trying to help my clients manoeuvre within themselves while their social conditioning screams at them from behind. The first step, as it is for anyone, is healing from their past – a challenge even the strongest of us do not venture into lightly. What comes next is where my own fear lies. What happens if these young people decide they want to make their own choices and their own lives? They want to choose a career they love, choose who, when and if they marry, and dress and live how they desire? Most of us are familiar with making changes in our lives and witnessing resistance from the people and world around us. However most of us are lucky enough to have at least some support from family and friends. What happens if the changes we want to make are in direct opposition to the lives of our family, friends, community and culture? This I can not answer, because I have not yet seen it. I can only imagine that it would at the least result in isolation but potentially a very real threat to one’s own life. I have a palpable concern especially for the safety of Indian women should they choose another way.


On this edge of change, the options remain, submit to a life they are not fully in control of or take a leap and hope for something better. My clients are beginning to explore, something I imagine their parents never had the opportunity to do. They are taking the first steps down a new path and are seeking help. I am helping them to heal, to learn about themselves and begin to make their own emotional wellbeing a priority.  These efforts they are making, no matter the end result, will no doubt make a difference for the better in their lives and the lives of the families they will create.


What can you or I do? We can extend our love and compassion to all ethnic communities, letting go of all judgements, knowing we do not know their stories or the extent of their struggles. Their is nothing perfect about any culture, the western culture very much included. I greatly admire so many Indian beliefs and traditions and know our own culture could learn a lot through embracing many of them. I believe as a community, we can make a choice to not reject what we do not know or understand, and we can support each other through our openness to conversation across cultural boundaries. We can remind ourselves and each other that nobody is alone no matter how different our stories may be. I am in the early stages of exploring the idea of creating a support group for Indians in Surrey. My wish begins with the desire for these individuals to have a place to meet and support each other as they navigate their lives. From this place, they can begin to build confidence, gain self esteem, heal through the commonalities in their stories, and at the very least – no longer feel alone.

Turn out the lights and wake me when it’s over. An immense loss with a little revived gratitude

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My next piece of writing was going to be a short piece poking a little fun at the first trimester of pregnancy. The joke being that women are often advised not to share news of their pregnancy until the 3 month mark, not just because of the risks but also to save friends and family from the constant moans, groans and emotional outbursts that ensue. The serious message was going to be about the importance of sharing with others what you are going through, the good, the bad and the ugly regardless – and especially regardless of the risk of losing a pregnancy. My first 3 months of pregnancy were lonely enough being confined to my bed; I can only imagine how awful it would have been not to tell anyone the reason I seemed to have fallen off the edge of the world.

My circumstances have since changed and so I feel called not only to share my own experience, to be vulnerable as I encourage my clients to do but to also draw our attention to what seems to be the trendy, sometimes even fashionable condemning of modern medicine. So now I will do all that I feel I can do and that is to share. Share my current struggle in hope that it may help to heal both myself and others and touch on a revived awareness that my present life has provided.

I became pregnant in July of this year. The questions followed of where I would deliver and how. I wanted some amount of control and believed in my own ability to deliver a baby without medical intervention. Women have delivered babies without the help of doctors since the beginning of our kind so there is no reason I couldn’t. I am also aware that many women died in labour or lost their babies before medical advances and that some still do. My partner preferred the idea of delivering at home, away from the interfering cold hands of doctors and their instruments. I wanted to share his confidence and yet felt frightened to be without a Doctor. I was bouncing back and forth with the dilemma of the all western medicine way or just going with nature’s plan and trusting both nature and myself.

Thankfully I did not choose just one way and met with my doctor regularly, intending to deliver in a hospital without pain medication. I was opting for a mix of complementary techniques and modern medicine. For the first 3 months I was more sick than I could ever have imagined. I was one of the unlucky women who had all day nausea along with a slew of other uncomfortable and painful symptoms. My body told me everything was OK. My hips expanded, my belly bloated, my breasts grew, I gained 4 pounds, looked like a pubescent teenager with the break outs on my face and all things pointed to a healthy pregnancy. We were picking names and painting the nursery. I do not follow the rule of thumb of keeping it a secret until 3 months had passed and so we had already told close friends and family. I was having dreams about the baby that just drew attention to my natural insecurities at the prospect of motherhood. I frequently asked my partner if he thought people could tell I was pregnant. I was envious of those women with the big bumps and looked forward to mine. The first 3 months were tough and knowing the risks of miscarrying I was just wishing each day away until we could fully embrace and celebrate this pregnancy. I held my belly and spoke to it and my partner kissed it goodnight. I was reading my parenting books and having wonderful conversations with my partner about the kind of parents we wished to be and wearing maternity pants! My counselling practice had suffered and our wedding date had changed to accommodate our new person and sometimes I felt just a little too lucky to have such a wonderful man in my life and a baby in my belly.

At 14 weeks and 2 days (past the 3 month mark), we went in for an appointment with our Doctor. She was trying to hear the heartbeat as she could not find it the week before. With no heartbeat found, she sent us for an emergency ultrasound the same day. The technician began moving the gadget around my belly and taking what sounded like photo snaps. She wasn’t saying anything yet and so with my inherent impatience I said “What are you seeing”. My partner had a smile on his face and his phone ready to take a picture of the little him or her on the screen. The technicians face looked worrying and I said “Is there nothing there??” and she replied “I’m afraid not”. I exploded in tears with a rambling of pleading sentences “but how, but how” is all I remember. My partner said in a voice I can not forget “I’m sorry??” as though he thought his ears had failed him. I stared at a black and white image of a dark bean shaped hole where a baby should be and sobbed and wailed like a little child in need of her mother’s arms.

This is not a normal miscarriage; it is called a molar pregnancy and is very rare. The majority of women with a non viable pregnancy will either miscarry naturally or at least have some obvious warning symptoms before the 3 month mark. Basically the cells split off as they are supposed to but they only developed a Placenta. An embryo, from what we know right now, did not develop or if it did it was only there a short time. The placenta became like a tumour, multiplying and growing far bigger than it should. It sent my hormones through the roof which now explains why I have been so incredibly sick. I have since had surgery this week to remove everything from my uterus. I could not go home and stay hidden under my duvet. Instead my partner and I had our days filled with waiting rooms, needles and finally a hospital stay. Unfortunately I lost a lot of blood in surgery as a result I am anemic and exhausted. Bouncing between my physical and emotional struggles and seeking anything to distract my mind while I recover. We must now wait for the results of a biopsy to make sure what they found is not cancerous and my blood will be monitored for at least six weeks. We have been told we cannot try for another baby for a while and when we do we will be monitored closely. Had I lived in a third world country, or turned away from all western medicine, or even just lived a 100 years ago or less, this pregnancy would likely have killed me. Had we not had the technology to listen for heartbeats or ultrasounds to see right into where the baby should be then It would likely have gone unnoticed. The placenta would have continued to grow and eventually spread to my blood and other organs. One could say “well that was mother nature’s way of eliminating me”, but when it comes to your own life and we can no longer look on from afar, there is no question that I will do whatever I can to survive, just as humans always have. I have a rediscovered gratitude for medicine and for our unique unrelenting curiosity as humans.

This is a loss for us and a terrible shock. I am truly grateful for the support of friends and family and know that nobody can go through this alone. We must now readjust, and somehow replace the space in our head that was so completely devoted to thinking about our baby and our future. How this is done I have yet to figure out. All I know right now is that I still wake each morning, even though all I want is to turn out the lights and wake when there is a baby in my belly and happiness in my heart. The space will be filled again and I am confident we will have a healthy baby some day but for now we must focus on my health. My message to other women or couples is not to negate their loss just because it is common to lose pregnancies. Your body, mind and soul must grieve. Do what you feel is natural for you and let nobody, including society, try to tell you how you should do things, what is the best way, and how you should compose yourself. What is natural and best is not putting yourself in one box or another, it is simply doing what feels right for you. You are human and already have the innate will to survive within you. Let this guide you.

My love goes out to all other women, couples and families who have experienced any type of loss and hope that my sharing, encourages yours.

I am still Limitless!